Lovingly Letting Go Of Emotional Attachment

 

Buddhist texts in theory encourage us to free ourselves from desire and attachment, though of course theory and in practice can be markedly different and difficult to realistically fall into alignment with one another – though there is much to be said about lovingly letting go of emotional attachment when someone or something or a phase or era has glaringly and obviously come to an end … 

 

 Listen Instead Of Read !

 

Buddhist Psychology Rooted In 4 Noble Truths

 

Of all the belief systems and religions, Buddhism is perhaps the one which probes the depths of the psyche and human consciousness the most. Buddhism isn’t concerned about a divine creator or to rephrase this just said statement – more accurately the Buddha in his extraordinary wisdom empowered us to be our own creators and creatrixes.

 

Wellbeing was of paramount concern to the Buddha and subsequent Buddhist texts emphasis the four noble truths which the Buddha himself pondered and concluded are the universal root causes of human suffering and mental hardship. The four truths are the truth of suffering, the truth of the origin of suffering, the truth of the cessation of suffering and the truth of the path to the cessation of suffering.

 

Suffering As A Sociological & Psychological Symptom Of Experiencing Life 

 

The Buddha was a deeply philosophical man but he also kept his theories rather basic so those seeking enlightenment would recognise the actuality as well as the practicality of his words in their own lives. The Buddha believed that life – and death – throws many unpleasant challenges along the path of individual existence. For instance there’s separation, depression, poverty, illness, old age and death etc … Now according the Buddha these misfortunes can be more easily coped with if the observer merely observes his or her plight, as opposed to becoming emotionally entangled with a desire for a certain outcome …

 

Attachment As The Origin Of All Suffering

 

The Buddha knew that it wasn’t enough to just surmise suffering, to eradicate suffering it was important to deduce it’s source … and according to Buddha, desire is the seed from which springs forth attachment and by extension, suffering …

 

Now attachment in the sense of what the Buddha derived was the root cause of suffering, is very much related to the desire of wanting (as opposed to needing) and even the opposite of wanting – namely not wanting something to happen, which is still a desire, it’s more aptly a desire to the negative …

 

Emotional Attachment To Desire Can Be Addictive

 

When we really truly madly deeply desire something to occur, with all of our heart and soul, it can release feel good endorphins and so we can almost become addicted as it where, to expectant desire. However there’s a human tendency that once the desire has flowered and reached ultimate attainment, that we can no longer actually desire that thing which we so earnestly wished for … Have you ever felt underwhelmed and a little lacklustre when that thing you wanted oh so ever so much actually transmuted into physical reality !?!

 

From a Buddhist perspective, this can be one of the ironic paradoxes of desire, that once the desire is realized that you can no longer long for it and so perhaps instead of really feeling the gratitude for the accomplishment of the desire, a new desire to replace the former desire may now take root in the mind and psyche … and so the nature of desire and attachment can go on and on if left unfettered …  

 

Desire As A Natural Phenomenon Of The Human Condition

 

Interestingly the Buddha himself came to the conclusion that desire in and of itself isn’t necessarily something that can be quashed within the human psyche, he understood that desire is in fact a natural phenomenon. After all it is from whence the seed of all human advancement is sown and reaped. Great minds such as those of Einstein, Edison, Newton and Bell etc first of all had the desire to formulate the theory of relativity or getting that ta da lightbulb moment by literally inventing the light bulb or glancing upon the perfect almost Eden-esque like beauty of an apple tree and by serendipity stumbling upon the theory of gravity or imagining an electrical box that could transmit sound …

 

If all of these very clever men had let go of their desires or even @ the very instances of their ideas had lovingly let go of their emotional attachment to the tangibility of their extraordinary intentions, we would not have space ships, space stations and satellites in the cosmos and we would be eating dinner by candlelight each and every night and horse riders would be delivering written letters to us – as nice as that may sound the human race would not have progressed if these learned men had not desired to invent and theorise – hence humanity needs desire and attachment to break through the outer limits of possibility …

 

The Buddha, The Bodhi Tree And His Desire Not To Desire …

 

Lovingly Release Me To The Pin-u-verse x

Ok, so this article has already touched upon the apple tree and Sir Isaac Newtons ta da moment … but the thing is, that a special tree of ideas, conceptualisation and enlightenment also featured in the Buddha’s sphere of deep thinking and contemplation. The Buddha due to his desire for enlightenment spent much time sat beneath a Bodhi tree in earnest philosophical thought or of course in a deep meditative state, which according to Buddhist writings could last even up to a whole week !!!   

 

The ironic paradox of the Buddha’s desire not to desire and his aspiration to free himself from the entanglement of wOrldy and emotional attachments, were indeed of course that wising not to want something is still a wish, it’s still a desire and to hold fast to realising and obtaining this wish or desire could cause an attachment to take root … such is the mystery of life and the nature of desire and – let’s just say non desire, lol …

 

Ok, ok, yes the Buddha in all his innate wisdom was well aware of the paradox of want, desire, attachment and detachment and that is why he admitted that life without desire – and by default attachment – is to deny oneself of the very essence of  personal and sociological human expansion. So the Buddha advised that the best way to cope with desire and attachment is by lovingly letting go of emotional attachment. Allow yourself to want and desire while @ the same time consciously conditioning yourself to not hold fast to the actualisation of that same said desire. Try not to be swayed on a swelling ocean of desires, resist being swept up by it’s choppy under currents to the point where one can become immersed in wanting and having but never really truly enjoying …

 

Accepting Desire And Attachment As Part Of Our Human Experience

 

Therefore the takeaway of this article and more especially the great lesson we can learn from the Buddha himself is that it’s not a sin to want, it’s not bad to desire and attachment itself is not a misdeed, they are after all as natural as the need for food, water, shelter and sex etc … 

 

Attachment can be a form of love, whether that love is agape or eros. We cannot put checks and balances on love, for to do this would be cold and clinical and even somewhat calculating. We must try to really feel the magic of each and every happy and memorable moment and appreciate it as part of the divine fabric which is interwoven within the tapestry of our individual and collective human experiences.

 

Let us love LOVE itself, let us love life itself, let us love our family, friends and even our pets with the agape friendship love that knows no bounds, conditions and restrictions – even if a strong attachment develops – for agape attachment is born from the ethereal timeless tree of love.

 

When the eros love of passion, sex and soulmate companionship sweeps you off your feet, let it. Do not have an attachment checklist, do not throw the arrow back @ Cupid, after all one could wisely accept eros as often times being the gateway for human fertilisation – where the egg and the sperm coalesce to form the embryo. Perhaps we cannot as humans help but feel attachment because on a deeper level our very lives @ conception have sprung forth from attachment and desire … 

 

Learning To Be Content In Every Life Situation

 

There is dear reader and listener a time for everything and in recognising this great truth we can know when the time is right so that lovingly letting go of emotional attachment actually enhances our past and present – we can utilise the Buddha’s wisdom by understanding attachment and detachment.

 

When a marriage or romantic relationship comes to an end or when a friendship runs it’s course or when we lose a beloved family member or even a much loved pet, we can look back upon our cherished memories with love, contentment, satisfaction and gratitude and gently teach ourselves to accept that during some very special moments in time we were lucky enough to love and to be loved. We can tap into such positive invigorating feelings whenever we want to by going back to that time in our minds great memory bank – and in this new digital age, when we are ready we can even playback events and fun, happy, blissful and blessed times that we have recorded.

 

Giving yourself permission to lovingly let go of attachment doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to let go of love. If a marriage, relationship or friendship has ended or if a person or pet you loved has died, you can accept your loss but still continue to love that person even if they have moved on from you or indeed this worldly earth plane of existence. If a friend, relative or animal companion has passed away you can still love them, if a friendship or romantic relationship is over, the love you felt and still feel need not be relegated to the past, it can continue to be …

 

Perhaps the reason many of us feel so empty when we suffer a loss isn’t just symptomatic of attachment but because we subconsciously fear the end of love – but love on the purest quantum level is timeless because it is not self seeking and love never fails it is beyond life and death …

 

Though dear listener or reader, if we do the opposite and dwell on the sudden absence of a relationship or loved one and hence experience an empty feeling of dejected nothingness or sorrowful despair and depression – this is when attachment becomes detrimental to mind, body, soul and spirit and it is the very reason the Buddha in all of his glorious wisdom walked the path of enlightenment and sat beneath the Bodhi tree … XXV/IX/MMXVII

 

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The Buddha Look within, be still, free from fear and attachment, know the sweet joy of living in the way

 

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